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Warface
Site Admin
Joined: 21 Mar 2007
Posts: 625
Location: San Diego, CA
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 Posted: Mon Apr 14, 2008 9:47 pm Post subject: Joke of the Day |
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4/14/08
A little boy is playing with his new football and a little girl asks if she can play. He tells her, "No. These are for boys."
The little girl runs into the house and tells her mother. The next day the girl sticks her tongue out at the boy and waves her new football in his face. The little boy angrily points to his boy's bike and says, "Oh yeah? Well, only boys can get these!"
But the next day, the little girl has the same bike. The little boy gets furious, pulls down his pants, points to his unit, and says, "Look, only boys have these and your mom can't buy you one!"
The next day he walks by and the little girl promptly pulls up her dress, points to her bits, and proclaims, "My mother tells me that as long as I have one of these, I can have as many of those as I want."
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Warface
Site Admin
Joined: 21 Mar 2007
Posts: 625
Location: San Diego, CA
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| Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2008 8:05 am Post subject: |
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4/15/08
A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment.
Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER."
The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it.
"I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."
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Lethal.Ambition
General
Joined: 03 Jan 2007
Posts: 2117
Location: Florida
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[-aRcTiC-]
I Donated!
Joined: 02 Jan 2007
Posts: 1349
Location: cmd
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| Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2008 1:18 pm Post subject: |
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the little girl in the first joke sound like she might grow up to be a slut! 
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Helter Skelter
Sergeant
Joined: 06 Feb 2008
Posts: 101
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| Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2008 3:30 pm Post subject: |
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| A baby seal walks into a club. |
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Lethal.Ambition
General
Joined: 03 Jan 2007
Posts: 2117
Location: Florida
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LlamaFarmer
Brigadier General
Joined: 13 Dec 2007
Posts: 1123
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| Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2008 3:45 am Post subject: |
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| Helter Skelter wrote: | | A baby seal walks into a club. |
i sat giggling for about 20mins because of that.
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nyim nyim nyim nyim nyim!
Look Ma! i changed ma sig!
EVGA nForce 780i SLI Motherboard, Intel Q6600 Quad Core @ 3.2ghz, 4GB Crucial Ballistix pc6400 800mhz 4-4-4-4-12 Ram, EVGA 8800gtx 626mhz(DEAD) EVGA GTX260 Vanilla @ FTW Speeds, Creative X-Fi Gamer Fatality Pro, Samsung Spinpoint T 500gb Sata2 HDD Drive.
3D Mark06 Score 15132 6125/6505/4901 |
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Warface
Site Admin
Joined: 21 Mar 2007
Posts: 625
Location: San Diego, CA
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| Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2008 9:00 am Post subject: |
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4/16/08
Why did the blonde take a ladder into the bar?
She heard the drinks were on the house.
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Lethal.Ambition
General
Joined: 03 Jan 2007
Posts: 2117
Location: Florida
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Gmolah
Gunnery Sergeant
Joined: 22 Oct 2007
Posts: 247
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| Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2008 12:39 pm Post subject: |
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here is one..
I heard that Home Depot has a new wall paint color, it is called Blonde. They say it is not that bright but spreads easy.... |
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Warface
Site Admin
Joined: 21 Mar 2007
Posts: 625
Location: San Diego, CA
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| Posted: Thu Apr 17, 2008 3:53 pm Post subject: |
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4/17/08
The inmate on death row was scheduled to be put to death by firing squad the follow morning. Throughout the day, the prison guards were being very nice to him. But when they asked him if he wanted something specific for his last meal, he said he didn''''t want anything special. When they asked if there was something special he wanted to do, he said nothing. It went on like this all day.
Finally, when he was put before the firing squad, the guard asked if he wanted a cigarette and a blindfold.
"No," the inmate said, "just get it over with."
"Well, is there anything that I can do for you before you go?" said the guard. "You didn''''t even want a special last meal!"
he inmate thought. "Actually," he said, "Music is my life. One thing I would really like would be to sing my favorite song, one whole time through, with no interruptions."
The guard nodded and told him to go ahead.
The inmate started, "One billion bottles of beer on the wall..."
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GregJ
Lt. General
Joined: 02 Jan 2007
Posts: 1536
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| Posted: Thu Apr 17, 2008 4:56 pm Post subject: |
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hahahaha, thats awsome.
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Walnutty
Gunnery Sergeant
Joined: 04 Jan 2007
Posts: 244
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| Posted: Fri Apr 18, 2008 7:53 am Post subject: |
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What does oral sex do? makes your day. What does anal sex do? makes your hole weak. 
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Warface
Site Admin
Joined: 21 Mar 2007
Posts: 625
Location: San Diego, CA
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| Posted: Fri Apr 18, 2008 8:43 am Post subject: |
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4/18/08
A hack golfer spends a day at a plush country club, playing golf and enjoying the luxury of a complimentary caddy. Being a hack golfer, he plays poorly all day. Round about the 18th hole, he spots a lake off to the left of the fairway. He looks at the caddy and says, "I've played so poorly all day, I think I'm going to go drown myself in that lake."
The caddy looks back at him and says, "I don't think you could keep your head down that long."
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Lethal.Ambition
General
Joined: 03 Jan 2007
Posts: 2117
Location: Florida
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| Posted: Fri Apr 18, 2008 11:34 am Post subject: |
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| Warface wrote: | 4/18/08
A hack golfer spends a day at a plush country club, playing golf and enjoying the luxury of a complimentary caddy. Being a hack golfer, he plays poorly all day. Round about the 18th hole, he spots a lake off to the left of the fairway. He looks at the caddy and says, "I've played so poorly all day, I think I'm going to go drown myself in that lake."
The caddy looks back at him and says, "I don't think you could keep your head down that long." |
I don't get it 
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